Its a new year. Jan. 2nd of 2015. I turn 35 this year. I’ve been writing down my annual goals for many years now. The last one I can see that I have saved is from 2011. My goals reach the height of their absurdity in 2012 and they weren’t all impossible, just absurdly improbable. What is it with youth and lack of visionary proportion?
I’ve always been a dreamer, but I’m a little dumb. In 2011 one of my goals was to write my first book. Seems reasonable enough… just stop doing drugs long enough to find the discipline or rent money (whatever) and then I’ll just sit down for three months straight and knock that shit out. Right!!? I think I wrote the same goal for 2012 and then again for 2013. Admittedly, during 2013 I spent more time than any other year building a book out of old blog posts. Editing 200 plus posts into something the least bit organized or “creative” turned out to be much more than the total, laughable, 15-20 hours I spend working on it. If it wasn’t funny it would be embarrassing.
Reflecting on the previous year’s grossly unobtainable writing goals, for this year my goal is to get an article published. SURELY!!! SURELY! I can pull that off. I guess I get better at setting goals. No, I get better at knowing who I am and exactly what proportions of work are probable for Adam. It’s called humility. The past three years of sobriety have been a path jettisoning me into adulthood. What powers have grown in me are all due to a relationship with a Higher Power. What a relationship looks like is practice and the “Higher Power” is a constitution of non-coercive, mutually enhancing love.
Tonight, someone in a meeting was talking about be frustrated with the “normal” conceptions of God: “He”, blah, blah, “heteronormative,” blah, “Christian,” blah, blah, blah. I was thinking that God is a “non-coercive, mutually enhancing force, both personal, impersonal, intangible, symbolic and material, evolving, creative, etc, etc. and after the meeting I remember what my important point was… Comedy. It’s all absurd! Each theology, each goal, offers us its gift of absurdity. It’s not, not important and sooo serious; its just also absurd, AND that’s hilarious. My conclusion: There should be more comedy in Church.