I’ve been spending more and more time in water. It’s the only place I can experience weightlessness. There’s a beautiful silence under the water – a weightless silence. It’s exceptional and another contribution to the increasing flow of my life.
I was in a hell-of-a spot a few weeks ago. My life has been asking strange things of me. “I’d like you to sell cars, please.” “WHAT!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” …fight, fight, fight… surrender. “OK. what-the-fuck-ever… I don’t think anything is going to eat me.”
You can put yourself in hell pretty quickly using this recipe: Start Arguing With Reality. Everything becomes shit so fast. I have to have help – a lot of help. I call many people. People who know how to shut the hell-up and listen. My advice: Attract people who are good listeners.
I don’t seem to have control most of the time, especially when it comes to the voices in my head arguing about what’s happening. “Selling cars!! You might as well shoot yourself!” Well, thanks for the encouragement. It’s just for a short while. And the damn thing about it – I’m succeeding. There’s also a fire under my ass to get busy moving in the direction of power, goals, vision. Over the past few weeks I seem to have crossed some sort of threshold and I’ve been decently civil with myself about the matter. I aim to be of service as best as I can – to everyone I encounter. I pray for these guys I work with… its soooo weird. As a social space the Mercedes-Benz dealership is a commodification extravaganza – hyper masculinized, technological carnival, automotive dream. I test drove 2014 Porche last week – it wasn’t as fast as a Mercedes-Benz CLA AMG, twin turbo, not nearly as fast. Yeah… This week I’m hoping to sell a goat-meat farmer a loaded 2012 S-Class – its used, but new its worth about $107,000. ?? Anyways…
So I applied for another Master’s degree… because… I don’t have enough of those already. It’s actually a teacher residency program. Everything about it looks wonderful except for the fact its in TN, it requires me to go back to school and carry debt, and it requires me to learn Chemistry or math… because I’m FUKING FILOSPHER! uchum… I’m being funny for those of you who are concerned.
Today I had my second round of interviews, group and individual interviews, supervised problem solving, and a teaching demo. I had a PCC moment! I told my class of 7th graders that if they remembered anything from me they should remember that they are the product of a 4.5 billion year process of creativity, as children of the Earth of course. Now… just picture me delivering that message as I’m selling a Mercedes. I’ve been doing exactly that… “Excuse me… Mr. Customer, have you had enough water today? You know our breath is our first first metabolic exchange of energy? And water comes next!”
I hope I become a teacher. If I have to sell cars for too much longer I’ll have too much money.
Thank you God… for water.