Chief Tecumseh Poem

Chief Tecumseh Poem

Amazing poem by Native American Shawnee Chief, Tecumseh:

So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion;respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.

Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.



RedBull Stratos CGI

Who would have ever thought an energy drink sponsor would be contributing to the development of space exploration. This is the weird world of reality. Felix Baumgartner‘s space jump was the highest (23 miles above earth) and fastest sky dive ever. His speed reached 833.9 mph today which means he is now the first sky diver to have ever broken the sound barrier. It took him 34 seconds to go supersonic. He also accomplished the highest balloon flight for those of you that champion balloons. Also, the Red Bull Stratos jump took place on the 65th anniversary of legendary test pilot Chuck Yeager‘s first supersonic flight. You can watch the actual jump here:

This CGI representation is pretty awesome:

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Loved *& Lucky

I have been sufficiently humbled. My circumstances humble me. I feel like the day that follows the night. It is true that we are the living expression of cosmic rhythm. That the Sun and Moon speak our experience is indisputable. Today I have been at peace. This peace has flowed through my experience today. It is thorough. Circumstances were generous; My attitude receptive.

I hit an AA meeting today.  Solid inspiration, especially when I see it for what it is: “GOD” a ‘group of drunks” who by all accounts should be dead or drinking, but are instead… alive and sober. Often old timers will say this thing: When asked how they got so many years sober they will say: “Don’t drink and don’t die.” That super simple. That my condition is bound to another substance makes little difference. It is living that is the problem. I am more supportive than most when it comes to the institution of cannabis. For me… it became a bad marriage – in order to fulfill my vows I had to let her go. “I love you, but we can’t be together!” Then the mourning ensues – a lost friend. Then dreams catch fire – no seriously, you begin to dream again – like at night. Then life appears… this is my experience.

At the meeting I found grace… which is to say there were a few people there who I really needed to connect with. A woman from Glide – Sue – whose passion of discontent for Glide matches my own. Our solution: the serenity prayer. Then there was Riaz. A chemistry teacher who also lost his PhD. through addiction. It is rare that I’m reminded of my own story. I am not alone. He is really happy teaching and since that is my path I felt very encouraged.

I rode my bike to and from the meeting which puts me around 12 miles today. It’s city cycling… so its intense, but I rode in peace today. So here’s my meek rant: There are so many freak’n cars! All over the place – just cars. What the fuck is going on? Where the hell is everyone going so god damn fast, with so much fucking force and noise? It’s weird and not so healthy… somewhere along some line our people have lost the sense of slowness. End rant.

Coming home this evening I checked my facebook to find a few notes of concern and connection. A few dear friends have connected with me recently after my post “The Worst two weeks in over a year” or something… These letters where beautiful. They were full of love and hope. I’m thinking I’ll ask my friend Tyler if I can post his message to me on my blog – because its awesome, vulnerable, healing.  Anyways, I have been reminded how amazing my home in Chattanooga is… I miss it very much. I am reminded that I am exceedingly rich and I have two homes.  These notes reminded me of the truth that one of my friends spoke to me: I am loved and I am lucky.

Video for fun:



God and Monopoly

I’m not sure if I’ve shared this story with you. Around this time last year I vividly remember having lunch at McDonalds. It was a normal enough day. I had traveled from Oakland via Bart to San Francisco for the High Noon meeting of AA. I was alone at McDonalds, feeling despondent  dissatisfied – McDonald’s seems to fit that psychic energy. The monopoly game was going on and I remember having an attitude of “fuck it” – a case of the “fuck-its”…  not unlike the attitudes I’ve been entertaining more recently. My mind made up I pulled the monopoly pieces from my coke. I remember having the thought, “you’re a winner” right before I pulled a piece, clearly blue, and the next thought that came to my mind was, not the recognition of “Boardwalk,” but the thought I had was distinct and clear, “That’s a really rare piece.” My attitude unwavering I finished my meal and threw away the trash. The following week an unexpected road trip with a good friend landed me back at McDonalds… only this time I noticed one particular monopoly piece with great concern. I pulled Park Place. At that moment I realized with significance and weight that the week before I had been holding a million dollar monopoly piece – Boardwalk. To my credit and fault, in honor of my karma and circumstance I threw it away.

I have reflected on this much. I have been playing monopoly this year at McDonald’s too much. At first my reflections were of the morbid, self-pity sort. This psychic lens only serves so long – if at all – before greater clarity comes. It is a huge mistake to throw away a million dollars. I couldn’t have been helped that day. I was bound to disappointment and anger. These poor, rigid attitudes cost me financial freedom. This is a fine lesson – beware of the “fuck-its” it could cost you much more than expected – but with a little more introspection, an injection of intuitive  mediative listening I became aware of another layer of meaning, much more impressive. For years I have squandered my potential through addictive behavior. The consequences of time, the lost powers of manifestation, professionalism and income are seen through the comparison with my peers in the present. The million dollars I forfeited at McDonald’s that day was no different than the accumulated wealth forfeited through my continual decisions to use cannabis, rather than face my fears – ultimately not trust God with my life.

God does speak to me. I am scared to admit it because the responsibility is ever-present, the voice of conviction, refining. God’s voice is the voice of responsible action, response-ability. My privilege is not expired. It wanes under the weight of my debt and has but little more to support a life void of right action. This past year I have turned the corner on avoidance, shame, guilt. Now I face the feelings of responsibility, the kind that I know I have the power to meet, not only meet, but fulfill. That million dollars was mine. I gave it up. It was more than money. It was part of my inheritance due through right action. I can be sad about that… or I can realize the truth. The truth is that a million dollars isn’t worth having through McDonalds’ Monopoly game. It is worth more… indeed I owe it and myself the respect and responsibility of earning it. God is fully in love with me… Because I also know the probability of pulling the Boardwalk piece is less than 1 in over 3 hundren something million. Those odds aren’t enough for God’s love. God’s love for me exceeds the limit of odds… whose probability exceeds even greater limits, astonishing limits – “Billions and Billions” – (Carl Sagan actually has a book by that title ; ).

A million dollars has been withheld. For whatever reason I choose to see this memory of ‘failure’ as a gift. Like my addiction, I would not know grace without the sure knowledge that I am dependent upon forces beyond myself – upon God ‘if you will’.


Innovation & Glide

“Innovators, because of their singular nature, see things differently… they are unpredictable. We don’t know what to do with them, and they are inherently unpredictable to judge.”

Hilary Austen’s talk from the 2011 TEDx SoMa conference is viewable below:

The 2012 TEDx SoMa conference is this weekend and looks to be awesome. Just around the corner from CIIS no doubt. Its sold out. But the talks from last year are available on youtube. I found Hilary’s talk relevant to my own story as a thinker, scholar working to be relevant and innovative at Glide.

I have given a significant amount of my mental and emotional time to Glide. I dream about Glide. I write about Glide. I think about how to “enlarge its territory” to expand its influential spirit over San Francisco. There are many movements at Glide in the present. My interest is in bringing the power of vision to Glide. This is my vision:

An integral vision… that offers a plausible, exciting, and cooperative way to reconstruct the 5 by 7 square blocks of the Tenderloin District into an eco-city in the center of San Francisco. This research project would draw from the best of emergent post-capitalist scholarship and innovation, where the intersections of individual empowerment, social democracy, and ecological design meet. The biotechnopowers – the systems, material, financing, tech and eco-models are already flourishing. Powered by organic-activism, I believe that by encouraging the integration of these intersections with a clear, inspired vision a critical mass of political will should be powerful enough to overcome any obstacles. Central to this research would be the empowerment and recovery of a Tenderloin community whose lives are largely disenfranchised and suffer from multidimensional poverty. My research and experience suggests that the latent revolutionary power that lives within the bodies of structurally disempowered communities will serve as the life-force for this vision. Here the institutional body of Glide Methodist Memorial Church will be a key supporter grounding this vision within the community and validating it within the city.  This integral vision will present an intentional “SF Mode” Eco-City that will also serve as a mobile model that might empower other urban populations within US cities and abroad.


Two Friends

I discovered today that a few people do read my blog. Two of my best friends read my last blog, “The Worst two weeks in the last year” or something like that. Super flattering. Jay Witty from TN, my home town & Adam Roberts from CA, my other home. I imagine they read with some concern since the messages I received from them were of the caring sort. My blog last night was a bit dismal. Adam who’s sympathies for me are little more than (que witty analogy … I don’t have it… ) He makes fun of me which is flattering because he holds me in deep regard – the type that only allows me to see strength in myself. “I’m done with your bull shit, Hudson.” he would say. And then there is Jay. Who is my life long partner. It is a love that extends throughout a life time. Our first connection was just a few years after birth. His love for me is beautiful. And I miss him. Messages from them both came to me today. I have been calling for the attention of my dear friends. It is these two men who answered. I am surely blessed. I am encouraged.

Today my heart rested from the psychic turmoil I have entertained this week. I spent some great time with my sponsor, Thomas. He is a great jewel. Super precious. He reminds me of God. He reminds me to be grateful…


Comedy & Tragedy

I’ve been funny. I am funny. I’m more funny when I’m angry. Or maybe its the space between the anger and healing. Anyway, tonight my roommate Sarah told me I should consider stand-up. I was thinking the same thing. It was encouraging to hear. Not moments before I was telling all my house mates how I thought God could go fuck himself. Funny?

I love joking about Christianity. I like talking about blood sacrifices – that shit’s funny. My recovery is funny. It is funny how sick I am. So much is funny. I don’t think this writing is that funny. Maybe that’s funny?

Get saved, become a vampire – isn’t that the message of Christianity? Like… more immortality please?

When I start doing stand-up I’m going to plagiarize. I’m going to actively plagiarize. Sometimes I’ll site my sources. At some point Foucault stopped siting Marx. I understand his sentiment: “Look. If you don’t know when I’m using Marx, I’m not telling you! Because your dumb as shit. Go study. Just a hint… I’m a Marxist a bunch.” There was a comedian I was listening to the other day. Her joke went something like this: “I don’t ever go out. My girlfriend called me and was like, ‘Come out.’ And I was like, ‘I’m dirty’. She was like, ‘Well, take a shower and come out!’  And I said, ‘No, on the inside.’  With all her dry wit… brilliance. I tried to use this tonight in my share after cursing God and liking baby sacrifices. It went over well enough.

I heard another joke today from Martin in my choir: Son says to father, “When I grow up I want to be an alcoholic!” Father says to son, “Well, you can’t be both.”

And another from AA: Door to door salesman walks up to a house and knocks. 10-11 year old boy answers. He’s nude. Wearing women lingerie. He has a cigarette in one hand and a scotch in the other. Salesman stutters: “Well, well… he- he -llo. Are your parents home? The boy looks at him: “What the fuck do you think?”

Funny? I’m sure I’ll go straight the top. 🙂

I and it R 1

“Partaking of the celebration and enjoying the great, unbound wealth of the supreme bliss, I offer my single aspiration that we meet again as one, gathering for the celebration in the palace of the lotus light and the pinnacle of the pure realm.”  


I and my bike are One. I have written this before. I speak it often. God is teaching me how to be One with Others; One With the Father as is my inheritance.

I love riding. I love city riding. I am a bike commuter. I ride daily. I never like to ride angry, today I experienced waves of anger flow through my consciousness as I rode. In to the present: I pray as I ride, “God take away my anger.” My consciousness lapes into another vision of an argument with a police officer about running red lights. “Are you aware that I’m on a bike, officer?!” I gain my presence circumstance, find myself again… riding, safe, wind, sunshine. The next block I see a police officer and I thank God for the grace I experience. I am still riding. I am not pulled over; I am not arguing with a policeman.

As I grow in consciousness with God my experience is one of immanence and concrescence. I experience karma almost immediately… where in my former states the karmic connection of events – the reaping and sowing – found significant distances of time and space. Now, with grace through continual pursuit of God Consciousness, I find my awareness hastened, with a character of intensity.

Later in the day I leave my house. I have found remedy from anger through others in recovery, so I ride with freedom. I come to stop sign to encounter a police car. I slam on my breaks and he hesitates pulling through, offering me the pass, but I node him on and follow. I look down to adjust my gear shift and WHAM! I plough into a parked car. I fall. My bike undamaged, my body significantly brused. I sand in curiosity  I live in pain. I gesture to a concerned neighbor that I’m fine. I ride to Whole Foods in pain.

It was an energetic consequence of individuation. God speaks through the pain and the meaning of distilled experience is clear. Check yourself. What angered adolescence yields this result. Cycles of narratives are active participates drawing their own meaningful delight. One is: God’s punishment for anger. Another is: Grace that having a body and bike my collisions are exceptionally rare and nonviolent compared to my experience years ago. I am healing. Progress not Perfection they say.

I learn the more that I and it R 1.




We are the Grace

While everyone in my former philosophy program readies their hearts and minds for the glory of the Esalen Retreat, the San Francisco weekend waves goodbye to the most advanced flying machines on the planet, and the next weekend embraces many of the most powerful minds on the planet in Kurzweil‘s Singularity Summit.
If you haven’t checked-out the grandeur of this conference I’ve included an excerpt from the site below in my last blog:
 and here is the program line-up:
Perhaps, if these men and women stand in for the potential of the human mind… my prayer… is that communities like Glide and CIIS carry the potential of the human heart. I say this to offer a blessing over the lives that care deeply for humanity, at a time when the greatest minds on Earth think beyond the human. Humanity is a sacrament of sorts, we should not waste ourselves with the familiarity of platitude or libation, rather our commitments must be to refine ourselves through discipline and love for one other. AND to remember… we are the grace and gift.
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The Singularity Summit




Top: Exponential growth of computing (click to enlarge) Left: Neocortical column representation from Blue Brain Project Right: Ray Kurzweil, Nick Bostrom, Peter Thiel, Steve Jurvetson

The Singularity represents an “event horizon” in the predictability of human technological development past which present models of the future may cease to give reliable answers, following the creation of strong AI or the enhancement of human intelligence.

A number of noted scientists and technologists have predicted that after the Singularity, humans as we exist presently will no longer be driving technological progress, with models of change based on past trends in human behavior becoming obsolete.

In the 1950′s, legendary information theorist John von Neumann was paraphrased by mathematician Stanislaw Ulam as saying, “The ever-accelerating progress of technology…gives the appearance of approaching some essential singularity in the history of the race beyond which human affairs, as we know them, could not continue.”

In 1965, statistician I.J. Good described a concept similar to today’s meaning of the Singularity, in “Speculations Concerning the First Ultraintelligent Machine”:

Let an ultraintelligent machine be defined as a machine that can far surpass all the intellectual activities of any man however clever. Since the design of machines is one of these intellectual activities, an ultraintelligent machine could design even better machines; there would then unquestionably be an ‘intelligence explosion,’ and the intelligence of man would be left far behind. Thus the first ultraintelligent machine is the last invention that man need ever make.

The concept was solidified by mathematician and computer scientist Vernor Vinge, who coined the term “technological singularity” in an article for Omni magazine in 1983, followed by a science fiction novel, Marooned in Realtime, in 1986. Seven years later, Vinge presented his seminal paper, “The Coming Technological Singularity,” at a NASA-organized symposium. Vinge wrote:

What are the consequences of this event? When greater-than-human intelligence drives progress, that progress will be much more rapid. In fact, there seems no reason why progress itself would not involve the creation of still more intelligent entities – on a still-shorter time scale.

In 2000, AI researcher Eliezer Yudkowsky and entrepreneur Brian Atkins founded the Singularity Institute to work toward smarter-than-human intelligence by engaging in Artificial Intelligence and machine ethics research. On the Institute’s site, Yudkowsky states:

The Singularity is beyond huge, but it can begin with something small. If one smarter-than-human intelligence exists, that mind will find it easier to create still smarter minds. In this respect the dynamic of the Singularity resembles other cases where small causes can have large effects; toppling the first domino in a chain, starting an avalanche with a pebble, perturbing an upright object balanced on its tip. All it takes is one technology – Artificial Intelligence, brain-computer interfaces, or perhaps something unforeseen – that advances to the point of creating smarter-than-human minds. That one technological advance is the equivalent of the first self-replicating chemical that gave rise to life on Earth.

In 2005, inventor Ray Kurzweil released The Singularity is Near, where he presented the Singularity as an overall exponential (doubling) growth trend in technological development:

What, then, is the Singularity? It’s a future period during which the pace of technological change will be so rapid, its impact so deep, that human life will be irreversibly transformed. Although neither utopian or dystopian, this epoch will transform the concepts that we rely on to give meaning to our lives, from our business models to the cycle of human life, including death itself. Understanding the Singularity will alter our perspective on the significance of our past and the ramifications for our future. To truly understand it inherently changes one’s view of life in general and one’s own particular life.

While some regard the Singularity as a positive event and work to hasten its arrival, others view the Singularity as dangerous, undesirable, or unlikely. The most practical means for initiating the Singularity are debated, as are how, or whether, it can be influenced or avoided if dangerous.

The Singularity Summit is the world’s leading dialog on the Singularity, bringing together scientists, technologists, skeptics, and enthusiasts alike. It was created to provide a much needed forum to discuss the risks and opportunities presented by our expanding relationship with technology.