Attention

I like attention very much. Having peoples attention is incredibly valuable. My ability to maintain attention is increasing as I practice spiritual fitness. My mediation and prayer haven’t developed that much in the past month. I’ve experienced a great deal of transition, movement, there are excuses of all kinds. Substitute teaching is a crucible of learning the value of attention.

I am receiving more and more attention from my community as I grow in spiritual discipline. My sobriety is a fundamental factor of my development. My disease requires me to show up to meetings. All the critiques of the “disease” model aside, I am currently in a process of doing “90 in 90” – that’s 90 meetings in 90 days. I’m at 17 or something. Every meeting I raise my hand to speak. Perhaps not every meeting but often I get called on and share my thoughts at group level. When you speak in community you receive part if not all of peoples attention. My dream is to become a magnetic speaker, teacher, and even… I still hesitate to say it, preacher. I love how when I take the suggestions of leaders in AA, I raise my hand and practice my dream. I love that when I practice spiritual fitness and my commitment to remain sober, wed to that in action and idea are my dreams for the future. Just the other day it hit me that there are many great public speakers in AA. Those seriously ill from addiction keep coming back day after day, year after year and speaking in meetings. Two minutes at a time, say 3-5 days a week you get called on for 20+ years makes you a pretty great speaker. If you have never gone to an AA conference you might give yourself the pleasure of going to hear amazing speakers. These people hold my attention with acute skill, mastery.

Facebook holds my attention really well. Movies hold my attention really well. I’ll watch a movie and not have a thought of my own for two solid hours. Sublime escapism, mass marketed, the cathedral of the contemporary capital order, refined and perfected entertainment – AMC, Carmike, etc. “Hollywood!”

Everyone want’s your attention in our culture. Every add, every new start up, every new fad, clothing, car, sport. In the spirit of mass fragmented attention and consumer culture I give you a song: “We Want Your Soul” by Adam Freeland:

Did I have your attention?

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