I have been sufficiently humbled. My circumstances humble me. I feel like the day that follows the night. It is true that we are the living expression of cosmic rhythm. That the Sun and Moon speak our experience is indisputable. Today I have been at peace. This peace has flowed through my experience today. It is thorough. Circumstances were generous; My attitude receptive.
I hit an AA meeting today. Solid inspiration, especially when I see it for what it is: “GOD” a ‘group of drunks” who by all accounts should be dead or drinking, but are instead… alive and sober. Often old timers will say this thing: When asked how they got so many years sober they will say: “Don’t drink and don’t die.” That super simple. That my condition is bound to another substance makes little difference. It is living that is the problem. I am more supportive than most when it comes to the institution of cannabis. For me… it became a bad marriage – in order to fulfill my vows I had to let her go. “I love you, but we can’t be together!” Then the mourning ensues – a lost friend. Then dreams catch fire – no seriously, you begin to dream again – like at night. Then life appears… this is my experience.
At the meeting I found grace… which is to say there were a few people there who I really needed to connect with. A woman from Glide – Sue – whose passion of discontent for Glide matches my own. Our solution: the serenity prayer. Then there was Riaz. A chemistry teacher who also lost his PhD. through addiction. It is rare that I’m reminded of my own story. I am not alone. He is really happy teaching and since that is my path I felt very encouraged.
I rode my bike to and from the meeting which puts me around 12 miles today. It’s city cycling… so its intense, but I rode in peace today. So here’s my meek rant: There are so many freak’n cars! All over the place – just cars. What the fuck is going on? Where the hell is everyone going so god damn fast, with so much fucking force and noise? It’s weird and not so healthy… somewhere along some line our people have lost the sense of slowness. End rant.
Coming home this evening I checked my facebook to find a few notes of concern and connection. A few dear friends have connected with me recently after my post “The Worst two weeks in over a year” or something… These letters where beautiful. They were full of love and hope. I’m thinking I’ll ask my friend Tyler if I can post his message to me on my blog – because its awesome, vulnerable, healing. Anyways, I have been reminded how amazing my home in Chattanooga is… I miss it very much. I am reminded that I am exceedingly rich and I have two homes. These notes reminded me of the truth that one of my friends spoke to me: I am loved and I am lucky.
Video for fun: