I’ve been funny. I am funny. I’m more funny when I’m angry. Or maybe its the space between the anger and healing. Anyway, tonight my roommate Sarah told me I should consider stand-up. I was thinking the same thing. It was encouraging to hear. Not moments before I was telling all my house mates how I thought God could go fuck himself. Funny?
I love joking about Christianity. I like talking about blood sacrifices – that shit’s funny. My recovery is funny. It is funny how sick I am. So much is funny. I don’t think this writing is that funny. Maybe that’s funny?
Get saved, become a vampire – isn’t that the message of Christianity? Like… more immortality please?
When I start doing stand-up I’m going to plagiarize. I’m going to actively plagiarize. Sometimes I’ll site my sources. At some point Foucault stopped siting Marx. I understand his sentiment: “Look. If you don’t know when I’m using Marx, I’m not telling you! Because your dumb as shit. Go study. Just a hint… I’m a Marxist a bunch.” There was a comedian I was listening to the other day. Her joke went something like this: “I don’t ever go out. My girlfriend called me and was like, ‘Come out.’ And I was like, ‘I’m dirty’. She was like, ‘Well, take a shower and come out!’ And I said, ‘No, on the inside.’ With all her dry wit… brilliance. I tried to use this tonight in my share after cursing God and liking baby sacrifices. It went over well enough.
I heard another joke today from Martin in my choir: Son says to father, “When I grow up I want to be an alcoholic!” Father says to son, “Well, you can’t be both.”
And another from AA: Door to door salesman walks up to a house and knocks. 10-11 year old boy answers. He’s nude. Wearing women lingerie. He has a cigarette in one hand and a scotch in the other. Salesman stutters: “Well, well… he- he -llo. Are your parents home? The boy looks at him: “What the fuck do you think?”
Funny? I’m sure I’ll go straight the top. 🙂