Life is the best drug. Peeps who drink, smoke, medicate, dose, fix, anti-depress… simply aren’t paying attention. The view is that pain is bad. It’s not bad. Pain hurts and its refining, empowering. I have spent great swaths of time avoiding the pain I experience living sober. Blah. Blah.
My day was fantastic. Juxtaposed the last 72 hours, I count it a miraculous day. The Bay Area was hot. Despite my early morning resistance, I got my ass up and went to glide to serve breakfast. I biked the 7 miles first – 27 min city hustle. Breath, Heart Rate, Sweat. After breakfast I ran to the GA office and received Oct. Muni pass – awesome. Biked to the coffee shop, no coffee, got apple juice. In walks my sponsor Thomas – ass whole hasn’t been returning my calls the past 72. Seeing him was God’s presence – serendipitous. He knew to let me freak out, get unsettled, and to remember on my own that God has the power. “Self reliance has failed me. I trust infinite God, rather than finite Self.” Reminding me to do a fear inventory, laughing about how crazy I can get when I think I have to manage my life – when I forget the 1st step. He took off. I returned the txt message from a sober sister’s invitation to Emily’s birthday gathering in Berkeley. My first inclination was to tell her I couldn’t come. Pause, inspiration, intuition… I hear, “How about being honest?” I txt the truth: I would love to come but I don’t have the resources. She responds – come. I’ve got ya. We’d love for you to be here!
I’m off to Berkeley but before I do I turn in a job application – solid. I ride. I find Shannon – my sober sister – on the Bart. Another serendipitous moment. Keep’m coming. Sushi and friends; then anime classic film. After the film my idea was to travel back to SF in hopes of soccer. Everyone else’s idea was to go swim in a lake. I took their suggestion and went with. Lake, dogs, rock diving, completely refreshing, beautiful people, beautiful boobs! Exceptional. Stories of sacred practice involving blood ice cream – weird has its place with my peeps. We all watched the sunset over San Francisco Bay from the hills of Berkeley. Amazing. Gratitude.
I just got home in time for the house meeting. And I’m blogging. And to imagine the day unfolding if I had not met my first obligation to serve breakfast at Glide – notta, nothing. Today I showed up and God met me, manifested me. My experience was flow. Hopefully, I’ll start substitute teaching this week too.
Soon I’d like to blog about how animals – pets – carry the psychological and often physical representations of their owners. I also will blog about my cleaning career which holds many of the same themes.
Have I blogged about Christianity and Vampirism yet? Great stores of blood sacrifies today inspired me to mention my tradition… + there’s a class being taught by Jake Sherman this semester called – Violence and the Sacred. Cool topics.