Tomorrow morning I’ll get up at 6am and head over to glide to serve breakfast from 7-10. I also have an appointment at the health clinic at 9:10am – we’ll see how that scheduling pans out – hopefully, like GOLD. I struggle with resentment toward glide for not recognizing my exceptional abilities and insisting that I be put to use, for the benefit of our church. Aren’t I exceptional? Perhaps not so much, or at least not so much as I think. I was told by a good friend that so often things are not as they appear, but then again neither are they other than they appear. I am exceptional. I am what I am.
I was in a leadership meeting the other evening with Karen and Theo, among others and the question was asked how to improve congregational life, giving, participation. Thinking back on this experience my spirit longs to cry out my truth. The way to improve congregational life is to make me the leader of celebration. Ahahaa~! It’s as crazy as it is novel. How does one say the truth they feel without being mocked because if I had said this… It would have come as a rupture to the continuity of the meeting; it would have subverted the power dynamics of the room, insulted, confused. I bow to these dynamics… which is to say that I bow to God and to people that I am called to love. I can’t change what happened in that meeting. I can live in prayerful contemplation about what I can change. I may pray the prayer of Jabes: “Do not forget, you are the nucleus of a rupture.”
Today Karen gave a great sermon… for Karen. It was interesting because after the sermon today I wanted to tell Karen that this sermon was the best I’ve ever heard from her, but what came out was, “that’s the best sermon I’ve ever heard,” which of course is not true. Perhaps I will have to speak with her? I’ve heard amazing sermons and Karen is not amazing, ever, as far as I’m concerned. Granted I’ve consumed a great deal of amazing, inspiring talks. It’s not that fair to Karen, because I compare her to the greatest which might be a gift. I also compare her to my speaking potential, which is not yet actualized. My ability to speak is always about connection. In order to connect with people you have to be super conscious. You have to be able to see consciousness in others and be with it, be one with it – guide it. I can do this… when I’m at my best. In my most intimate relationships this is the norm. Speaking at High Noon on Friday I lapsed in and out of connection. Many people said it was a great talk. Connection is also about being one with God. Being One with God is an experience of collective mind, manifesting an experience of conscious resonance. This is done very often with the Glide Ensemble where a solid 90% of the church is completely connected with the event – single-pointed attentive. Which is always the reason why no speaker, not Karen, Theo, Don, Douglass, Cecil or Janice has ever been able to keep up with the energy put out by the Ensemble. The speakers all feel like a depression of conscious resonance because they are… when they follow the Ensemble. To each of their abilities comes moments of connection that will meet the power of conscious connection produced when the Ensemble sings. Douglass, who was very good at Glide, would hold a power level equal to the Ensemble maybe 10-15% of the time. The rest of the sermon dips below the Ensemble’s power and at some points completely looses the attention of the audience, most never holding more that 45-55% of the attention. At that point you have 30-40% of consciousness drifting somewhere else – thinking about their day, job, lover, sex, any distraction.
My aim would be to induce conscious resonance throughout the church reaching levels calibrating above the 600 mark, where love and joy are experienced. I would achieve sustained conscious power matching if not exceeding the Ensembles power. At that level the whole church will be experiencing the power of collective synchronicity and “religious experience.” That’s the solution to building a congregation. Non of that happens without God. “I” cannot do any of that, but this body can be a vessel.
MORE about glide.